:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
