Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
