Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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