quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
