The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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