this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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