Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
