; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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