I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
