dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
