Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
