Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
