I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize