She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
