I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
