I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
