omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
3pm strippers are depressing
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
