Someone shit on the floor
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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