Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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