saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
