these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
