This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
