Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you win again, gameday.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
