i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
