This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
