The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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