You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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