And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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