question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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