dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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