It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
