I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
