My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
