it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
