so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
