So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
