hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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