is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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