i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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