Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
