Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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