So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
