a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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