I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She announced her abortion via fbk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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