my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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