My girlfriend figured out who you are.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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