Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
