just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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