to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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