so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
