There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
