Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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