dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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