i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
