eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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