At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
