Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
