yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
