A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
