20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
