For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
