Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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