You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
