Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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