Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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