The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
