last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
