Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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