remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
