I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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