Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
