So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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